Hey Party People,
I’ve been reading Alicia Keys’ memoir, More Myself over the past couple of weeks and it has been intensely inspiring. Her creative journey of coming into her own sound, fighting for her time, and decision to choose herself is truly moving. It has brought tears to my eyes a couple of times. Not tears of sadness but of hope as it stirs something inside me to believe and trust in the process. I would highly recommend the read to any creative out there trying to find their voice, their vision, or is struggling with other people’s influence over your work.
It’s scary to trust the process and to choose ourselves. I was all up in my feels at the end of February battling with my own insecurities. But now, NOW I am freaking stoked for the space I am in. I’ve always been a list person, a to-do list extraordinaire, and a consistent planner which is why a step into the unknown without a plan was super challenging for me. But I am approaching this next phase differently with a much more flowy and open perspective – I’m choosing to do what feels good at the time, on the day, in the moment. I realize I have the flexibility that others might not. I am single and live alone, I have space financially not to stress about my bills, and I have my passion projects that keep me excited.
I want to remind you though - I am not unique. I am not special, or different from you. You too have the power to lean into the things that bring you joy, that feel good in the moment, and can be open to a little more flow. When we do more of what makes us feel good, we attract more of what feels good. You can call it manifesting or the law of attraction but it's true. When you are feeling good, happier, joyful, excited, content, don’t you notice how others respond to you, and how your energy impacts them? Maybe you don’t notice how you make others feel, but do you notice the impact others have on you? How their energy, their positivity (or negativity), their smile, their sheer presence makes you feel.
There is a famous quote by Maya Angelou, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
So, how do you want to feel or how do you want others to feel when they are around you? Some of us might be more motivated by how we make others feel than how we make ourselves feel, that’s ok. But in order to impact others, we have to feel good ourselves – sorry not sorry. You gotta feel good first! This might be in work, in relationships, in business, in anything. Begin thinking about the things that make you feel good.
When I first created a joy list (a list of things that make me feel good), I was like heck I dunno what makes me happy. I legit was drawing a blank. I sat down though and made a list and started with the simplest things – a glass of wine, the smell of fir trees, cheesecake. We often get caught up in these big picture desires of beach vacations, bigger houses, or our perfect partner and we forget the small things that make us feel good. And those little things can connect us, energetically, to those bigger picture dreams.
For example, I love to travel. Obviously, that’s not something that is possible due to COVID, so how do I connect to this thing, this experience that brings me joy in a different way. I do two things. The first which I find is the most effective is I seek new spaces to explore in my city, or neighbourhood. There are endless places that I have yet to explore – restaurants, murals, hikes, views, etc. that I can seek out and FEEL like I’m exploring something new – because I am, I’m just doing it close to home. Another thing I do is look back at the incredible experiences I’ve already had. I look at pictures of those times and sink into those memories and be grateful (THIS IS KEY). I sit with these memories in a space of gratitude and connect to the joy I had while I was there, and I do not focus on the fact that I can’t be there right now. This second option might be harder for others.
Other simple things I do that make me feel good is my morning cup of coffee. I grind beans every morning. I pour my cup sprinkle in my cinnamon and hold the mug in my two hands. I close my eyes, feel the warmth, and breathe in the aromas. It excites different senses and makes me feel good! Last example I will give you is, I LOVE snap back hats. This is my go-to, will not disappoint option. I throw on my party jams, a backwards snapback and I feel like a free spirit, allowing all my “shoulds” to melt away.
The point is feeling good doesn’t have to be hard, and it shouldn’t be! We are conditioned to believe that life is hard, or deep down we don’t believe life can be anything but. I am here to tell you THAT LIFE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE HARD. You can do the things that make you happy, you can do the things that give you purpose, and you can do things that create enjoyment. You hold that power, but you have to exercise it. Stop blaming others for your unhappiness or lack of success. It is your life, and it is your choice, start acting like it. I want to leave you with a quote from Alicia’s memoir that struck a chord last night.
“Was I fearless enough to bet on myself?”
Ask yourself this question. I chose to bet on myself and I am living MY dream – which I might add is still unclear, but I am more excited each and everyday when I open my eyes. I am sleeping through the night in a way I haven’t for a long time. It’s actually easy to get out of bed, where before it was a constant battle between my cozy sheets and my alarm. Now I am excited for what the day brings. What a concept!?
I want each of you to strive for the good. To choose things that make you happy because YOU DESERVE TO FEEL GOOD. How often do you put other people’s happiness in front of your own? Pay attention to all those things you give up because of what others will want, think or need from you. YOU MATTER TOO. It doesn’t have to be big audacious things it can be as simple as a snapback hat. I believe in you, even it you don’t just yet.
Here is your party jam for the week! With Alicia as my inspo for the week, I feel it is only fitting to share some of her musical talents.
With Gratitude, -S
PS. Did you miss last week’s read where I was all up in my feels? Check it out here --> Is it Bravery or Stupidity?