Hey Party People,
I sat down multiple times this past week to write this week’s post and each time not finding the right flow. I was trying to focus on the re-opening plans and how you all might be feeling. I was trying to come up with thoughts on the mental health pandemic that we are facing after reading a report on loneliness. But each time my words felt forced and when my words feel forced, I know it’s not the message I’m supposed to share.
I often get asked if I have a writing routine or set times when I do my blog or if I have an abundance of pre-written posts that I can choose from each week. The answer is no and no. I don’t have a reserve of posts to share, and I don’t have a routine. I sit down multiple times to write, just like this week, with thoughts or ideas that come to me at random times. It always flows best when I let the words come first, meaning I don’t sit in front of my computer and then say ok I’m ready for inspiration. When I allow the words to flow unforced and without attachment, those are always my best.
And so, I’m sitting down on Saturday afternoon with no true focused message for you – which I think is a message in itself. We don’t always have to have the answers, even though we want to, or feel the pressure to know all the time. Honestly, I’ve been struggling with this for the past few weeks where I just want to know WHERE I’M GOING! And then I can get to working towards it. But I still feel divided and swirly – if you can remember that feeling from a few weeks back.
I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to have it all figured out. We’re taught that we have to have a plan all the time and when we don’t, we’re uncomfortable, or sometimes it's others who are uncomfortable with our lack of direction. I think this is where some of my discomforts stem from, in that I don’t have answers for others. I feel the need to justify what I’m doing (or not doing), what I’m working on, and what my plan is. People are uncomfortable with my lack of direction and clarity. Don’t get me wrong I’m also highly conditioned and feel frustrated and annoyed as well at times with my lack of clarity, BUT most of the time I feel great about the freedom I’ve granted myself to figure things out.
Someone asked me recently, where in your life are you half in? and that made me think, and my first thought was – everywhere. I feel half in everywhere and perhaps this is where my lack of direction or clarity is stemming from. But maybe I am also half in because I am testing the waters, I’m experimenting, I’m feeling what feels good and what doesn’t. When I first quit my job, I was overwhelmed with the possibilities or directions I could go but I’ve slowly begun to understand where things don’t align, even if they are the things I know I do well. But I know I don’t want to do them. As I write that I can hear the conditioned voice in my head say, well you don’t always get to do what you want.
I’m tired of this societal narrative, because why the hell can’t we?! Beliefs are the first limitation to getting what we want. There is no way we are going to get everything we want if we don’t believe it's possible. We need to find a way to desire the life we want without guilt, without shame, without resistance or logic talking us out of it, for it to come true. It’s that simple. If we want more in our life we have to re-condition our beliefs to believe more is possible and that what we want is achievable, BY US. That last detail is key. We have to see ourselves personally capable, not just believe it's possible in general.
This is something I’m personally struggling with right now because I question if I am worthy of my freedom, of a platform to share my thoughts, or if I’ll be able to support myself doing what I love. But I also realize that if I don’t believe I am worthy, no one else will, and the universe sure as hell isn’t going to deliver my dreams to my doorstep until I’m ready to own them.
So where are you blocking the goodness in your life? Where are you blocking the things, you want because you don’t believe it’s possible.
Limiting Beliefs Guarantee Limited Outcomes.
A friend just posted that on her Instagram this morning (@the_chain_reaction_, go follow her for great mindfulness tips!) What this statement is saying is that we limit ourselves party people. We limit our dreams. We limit the love we receive. We limit the depth of our relationships. We limit the fulfillment of our jobs, and we limit our success. We are our own biggest obstacle.
Don’t sweat those limiting beliefs though because as you become aware of them you have the power to start changing them. We can re-program our beliefs. Disclaimer! – its hard AF. I’m in the process of doing this right now, shifting old beliefs into new ones of possibility. It’s challenging because the beliefs I’m trying to change have been crafted over my entire life and I’m not going to change them in a short couple of days, weeks, or even months. It’s hard work and I am tempted EVERY. SINGLE. F*CKING. DAY. to go back to the life, I had.
But sometimes it's not about having it all figured out remember? Maybe it's just about having the courage to try. So, I keep trying and keep fighting to change my beliefs of what I am capable of and that I am worthy of the life of my dreams.
If you don’t have dreams or a grandiose vision, this might fall on deaf ears, but I know you want something in your life but don’t believe you can have it. It might be a better physical relationship with your husband, it might be a body you feel sexy in balanced with the enjoyment of your favourite foods, it might be more time with your kids while building a new business or it could be as simple as a desire of a good night’s sleep. We all want something so I encourage you to start with finding the simple belief that it's possible and that you can have it. No matter how big and audacious it seems, or how minuscule it might feel – build that belief and let’s see what happens. Together.
Here’s your Party Jam for this week. I think I’ve shared this one before but it’s just so fitting and I blare it ALL the time when I’m feeling my dreams because I do want it all.
I Want It All – Cam
With Gratitude,
S
P.S. Thanks for reading and hanging with me today! If this week’s post was helpful, please share it with someone else who might enjoy it. All the links you need are just on the bottom left of this post where you can share with just a couple of clicks to various social channels. And if you missed last week’s post you can check it out here -> Stop to Smell the Flowers.
