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Scared? You're Supposed to Be...

Hey Party People,

At the time of writing this, I was feeling pretty swirly. No, I don’t mean the act where you dunk someone’s head in the toilet in middle school Haha. My swirly feels were tied to a revolving door of the same thoughts and questions that kept on spinning. I didn’t feel particularly attached to one thought or another but I also didn’t have concrete answers either.

I’m sure many of you have gone through times where you feel like you’re floating or drifting along unattached to anything. This can be both unsettling and wonderful at the same time. When we are detached from outcomes and our to do lists we are free. But it can feel unsettling as well when we’re not focused on something. It’s not common or encouraged to float through our days or to let go. Instead, we’re taught to keep hustling and to set goals, and get shit done.

Amidst my swirly feelings and over the past couple of weeks I’ve been trying to give myself permission to DO LESS. I’ve had many people try and teach me this lesson and I’ve resisted it each and every time. I still resist it! I feel like I have to be doing things to be productive and that I should be doing all the things or I feel guilty – but why? Honestly, I don’t have time to get into THAT right now but what I want to share is how hard it is to slow down and do less. Our constant need to be busy can weigh on us and prevents us from enjoying the present. For me maybe its my way of proving my existence, by being busy it means I am relevant and deemed important? I don’t know there might be some nuances to that but what I remind myself is that I am relevant and important no matter what. Just by opening my eyes each morning, I have an impact on the world and so do you. Our existence itself is profound and impactful.

For me, COVID was a big helper in getting me to do less early on because it wiped my calendar clean. Over the past year, I have done a massive overhaul of what I’m involved in and started to ask better questions. Why am I doing this? Do I enjoy it? Does it fill ME up? Am I doing it because I feel like I “should”? The answers to these questions are key and have been super helpful. But despite this new perspective I STILL take on things that aren’t in alignment for me – it’s all a work in progress and I’m still learning. I encourage you to take a look at your calendar, your to-do list, and all the things you have going on and ask these same questions. How many of those things give you the Hell Yes feeling or bring you fulfilment? You’ll probably be surprised at how few do….

Back to the swirly feels. Recently I’ve been feeling more anxious or angsty in this floating and swirly space. I was drifting along waiting for the wind to carry me in a new direction and doing my best to remain patient…. But I’m an impatient woman so it hasn’t been going well! I mean c’mon Universe, where am I going!?