Surrender. Release the desire to fight back. Let yourself free fall into your darkness. Breathe, it's going to be ok.
It is in our depths where our darkness meets our light, where yin meets yang, and our strengths match our weaknesses. It is here at the intersection where we are most pure, where our soul is most whole, and where we are one.
I think we all turn away from the deepest and darkest parts of who we are because it’s the best way we know how to protect ourselves. We’ve built up behaviours, habits, and beliefs that protect us from the depths we believe need to stay hidden. We think this protects us but really they’re just smoke screens keeping us from our truest selves.
It is in our darkness and the depths of our despair, that we can really look at who we are, who we’ve become and ask if this is who we want to be. It is in our darkness where our truest selves live – all the insecurities, all the terrible things we’ve done, all the beliefs we have that we are not worthy. But it is also in these depths where all the amazing things we’ve accomplished live as well, all our strengths and our greatest potential. It's in this dark expanse that we can meet ourselves most authentically, without masks, without our outward identities, but as ourselves, stripped of our armour, stripped of any protective barrier we have from the outside world.
It feels scary to walk into this space and step toward your purest form. It’s only in the depths of your darkness that you will find your true strength and greatest purpose because it is in this darkness that reveals all the limits you've put on yourself. All the masks we’ve worn, all the habits we’ve created to hold us back, coping mechanisms that mask what we truly need to feel. It is only by walking into and being utterly consumed by our darkness that we can begin to move toward our brightest light. Without our surrender, we will constantly be trying to fight our way back, trying to go back and stay in the life we know, back to the place we think is safe with masks and false identities. Or we can walk tall into the darkness and confront the darkest parts of ourselves – the pieces we try to hide from others and hide from ourselves, the pieces we are scared or ashamed of. What if we dared to could come face to face with the rawest version of ourselves?
It’s scary as hell and on the surface, it appears easier to avoid our darkness, so we keep clawing our way back to the limited version of ourselves. But what if we could surrender and get to the other side where our true strength lies. We think we want to stay in the life protected by our armour, we create our barriers to success or put limits on ourselves because we are afraid of who we can truly be. We sabotage ourselves so we don’t have to walk through and rise from the darkness, but instead play cowardly in the shadows.
It takes undeniable courage to surrender to our dark side and unwavering faith that there is light on the other side of it. The truth is though, we’re not really scared of our darkness. We’re used to believing the worst of ourselves, creating impossible standards to live by, and believing we are unworthy of our greatest desires. It's not our darkness that scares us, it's our light. Our truest most authentic selves, unarmoured and open. Without the negative beliefs, shitty habits, and brick walls we’ve built, people might actually see who we are, we might see who we actually are. We might even unleash the power to live as everything we were meant to be – and that’s what truly terrifies us.
I didn’t understand it at first – why would I be afraid of my potential or my true strength? I know I’m here to do incredible things can we just get on with it already. The thing is, in order to get to extraordinary and to truly live into our purest form we have to shed aaaaallllll the shyiat we’ve carried our entire lives. We have to let go of our protective walls, toss aside our masks and admit where we are failing ourselves. It’s uncomfortable AF so you have to ask yourself how uncomfortable are you willing to become? Every day I feel uncomfortable it seems, I keep grasping at every little thing that might keep me from falling into my darkness. What I’m learning though is my fight will only keep me stuck in this limited version of myself, where I can’t and won’t achieve the extraordinary life I truly desire. Instead, I need to let go and find the courage to walk into the darkness, to surrender. Do I have the courage? I am still asking myself that very question...
Will you step into your darkness and surrender to meet the best and worst parts of yourself? Or will you continue fighting and avoid your depths, as I have for so long. Perhaps we can find our strength and step into our light together.
Here is your music vibe this week…
P.S. You might have noticed that I’m not on the social media scene as much these days, not at all actually, which means I’m not sharing or promoting my posts. If you feel inspired or are willing to share on your mediums, I would be so grateful. I can only hope my words continue to spread even if I don’t have the full energy to get it out in the world. At the very least I know they will reach you reading this right now – you are the light I am fighting for.