For the longest time, I denied myself the vision of finding a partner.
I thought it was easier to keep on keeping on as me, independent and “free.”
I had friends tell me, “Of course, you want a partner.”
“Nope, I don’t. I don’t need anyone.” was my response.
And I held tight to that belief and lived in denial of a deeper truth.
A truth that I knew I wanted to be held.
A truth that I knew I wanted to be seen.
A truth that I knew I wanted to be loved.
But was too afraid to admit…
This deeper desire would never be mine or materialize until I acknowledged it as something that I wanted. Looking back, I remember my 30th birthday, or very close to it, I was in Cabo, Mexico. I had travelled there over New Year's, solo (because I was independent and free remember😉). It was the last trip I took before the pandemic and little did I know the upheaval that was on the horizon, not just globally, but internally. The year that followed was one that completely changed the trajectory of my life.
It was in Cabo, amongst the sunshine and palm trees, where I proclaimed multiple goals I wanted to achieve in the next decade.
1. Run a marathon.
2. Write a book.
3. Find my partner.
This was HUGE to voice these goals for myself. I chose to share it on social media (see my Facebook proclamation below) to make it a little more real for myself. That’s not everyone’s jam, so don’t feel you need to proclaim anything to anyone if it doesn’t feel right. The power of acknowledging your goals and dreams just for you is what’s important and can be your first big step.
We deny our deeper desires so often because we don’t think they’re possible OR because there is a deeper wound within us waiting to be healed before we can move forward.
Once I acknowledged these desires, that’s when the real work began and my life started to change. In hindsight, I can see so many puzzle pieces coming together that brought me to this exact spot where two of the above goals have come true.
So what is your Big magic? What are your goals and dreams?
Below are three journal prompts to sit with, voice note, or percolate in your subconscious. Be open to the answers and allow your magic to be seen. Don’t judge what comes up. Don’t try to understand how or if it’s possible. Simply allow yourself to soften and be open to all your magic.
I shared my desire for love and a life partner at the beginning of this post, because it was and is my big magic. It was the one desire I resisted the most and didn't truly believe was possible for me (thought OF COURSE is was).
Running a marathon, I thought I could do that. It was just mind over matter and a lot of training. Writing a book was something I knew I wanted to accomplish and I had multiple ideas of what I could write about. Again mind over matter and a commitment. But a partner! This required two hearts and two minds coming together. This required someone to buy in and love me back. This required me to allow someone to see me, love me, and support me. All things I resisted...
(and this is not to say that running a marathon or writing a book is easy – AT ALL! The battles within yourself can sometimes be harder than the ones we share with those outside ourselves. I still haven't reached my marathon goal).
The step from where you are now and what you desire begins when you acknowledge your big goals and dreams. Give them a voice and say, Hi, I see you! Then prepare yourself to embrace the next step where you confront your own resistance, fears and beliefs.
I would love to hear what your big magic is. There is power in sharing and I would cherish the opportunity to hold space for your magic to grow. Reply to this post or drop me a DM. I'd love to hear from you.
And as the tradition goes, here's a party jam to tap into the vibezzz.
Want some help tapping into your big magic? Check out my Dreambuilder program.
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