Hey Party People,
Why do we let ourselves continue to entertain what’s bad for us? You know those people, situations or substances that create chaos in our lives, but for some reason, we just can’t stay away from them. Or we think there isn’t a problem so we dabble here and there. These things feel good at the moment because they give us that temporary escape from reality, or that lil endorphin boost we crave. I know I’m not the only one that does this. It's hard to admit in some ways that we do things and choose things that aren’t good for us. And that’s why it's hard to change these behaviours, distance ourselves from those people, or just clean up our dang act. When trying to change we might even feel like something is wrong with us for wanting the things that are good because we’re so conditioned to the bad. So we make excuses and keep dabbling… anyone else feelin’ me on this?
By continuing to indulge in these toxic patterns we put ourselves on the back burner rather than choose what’s good for us. Why do we do this? Well my friends it’s because we’re addicted to the temporary fix. You are addicted to the numbing that social media presents. You are addicted to the feeling of ease when you smoke that joint. You are addicted to surface interactions because you can’t get hurt. You are addicted to men (or women) who aren’t good for you because you are used to not being chosen. We seek out what we know, we seek out what we think we deserve. And this shit is hard to acknowledge and even harder to change, but it IS possible.
For myself, I’ve been diving into many of my vices - social media, food, men, drinking - and the one I’ve unpacked the most so far is my relationship with alcohol. I never thought I had an actual problem when it came to drinking but I started to ask myself what my motivations were to drink in the first place. I realized that more often it was to forget, to distract, or a desire to take a break from it all. Now I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with wanting a break or taking that break but it's important to ask why we need the break in the first place. Drinking was my go-to escape, my attempt to put life on pause for an hour or a night, and I didn’t even realize I was trying to escape things! When I really started to look at this behaviour I was shocked what the consistent motivation was. The trickier part about this was no matter what I wanted to escape, it was still there when I woke up the next morning… with a foggy mind and a headache on top of it all. It didn’t go away just because I pushed the pause button.
So why don’t we choose things we know are good for us instead? Well as we’ve covered we’re addicted to the short bursts of temporary relief and pleasure. The things that are good for us usually work towards greater wellness and longevity. Living in a society built on immediate gratification doesn’t encourage or support that long-term wellness or inner growth. It's all about the right here right now.
And as long as we live for those quick hits or short escapes we’ll continue to live in denial. Which is a place you are welcome to stay and it might be presumably easier because it’s a hard you know. But what if you could have extraordinary? What if you could feel true joy? What if you could uncover what it feels like to be whole and at peace – would you choose that instead?
I’m not gonna lie to you, it sucks getting real with yourself. It sucks feeling and dealing with life. It sucks looking at your behaviours and realizing they’re hurting not helping you. But you know what sucks equally as much? It sucks when you continually get your heartbroken. It sucks when your clothes don’t fit. It sucks when your anxiety is so bad you don’t sleep at night. It sucks feeling like no one notices you.
We get to choose the suck we live each day. We get to choose if we are here for a good time or a long time and each day is full of choices. Pay attention to how your choices accumulate over your day and upcoming week. Maybe start shifting some of those choices. I wonder where you’ll end up down the line. Happy, healthy, and wise? Maybe, maybe not. The choice is up to you. And if you’re not sure you have it in you, I believe in you, even if you don’t just yet.
Now here’s your Party jaaaam - You ready for a lil soul?
P.S. ICYMI! My last post shares a special perspective about the work we do that others don’t see. The more time you spend working on yourself the deeper the transformations become. These changes begin to happen on a cellular level, a soul level, and most people won’t see these changes you’ve worked so hard to make. And that’s ok because The Work Nobody See’s is work for the betterment of you and you alone. Check it out and let me know what you think! If you liked this week’s message or previous posts I would be super stoked if you shared it on your social platforms, emailed it to a friend, or simply bookmarked it for another day.
P.P.S. In the spirit of our first National Truth and Reconciliation Day that took place on September 30th, I welcome you to check out a couple of resources below. There are so many to explore I wasn't sure where to start. The important thing is we do just that - START.
EXPLORE - Blackfoot Crossing Blackfoot Crossing Historical Park is located just an hour’s drive south of Calgary in Siksika Nation. As the site of the signing of Treaty 7, the park is a designated National Historic Site and the eco-friendly museum offers interactive exhibits focused on Sikisika First Nation culture, history, language and traditions. Currently open by appointment.
READ (as shared by the Calgary Chamber)
The Inconvenient Indian by Thomas King
Five Little Indians by Michelle Good
From the Ashes by Jesse Thistle and,
21 Things You May Not Know about the Indian Act by Bob Joseph.
Available through the Calgary Public Library or your local bookstore.
EXPERIENCE - Art Exhibit at Southcentre Mall A month-long art exhibit presented in collaboration with Colouring it Forward Reconciliation Society features work from 16 Indigenous artists. Find it at Southcentre Mall’s Art Corner on the second floor. The exhibit will culminate in a commemorative event in honour of Orange Shirt Day and the first observance of National Day for Truth and Reconciliation on September 30th.
Do you have any great learning resources you've found? Share them with me please!
Reconciliation. It's a journey, not a destination.